


Loved You Before

by GeGe_S



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, POV Alec Lightwood, POV Magnus Bane, Resurrection, Soulmates, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24461806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeGe_S/pseuds/GeGe_S
Summary: - Stay with me. Alexander... -
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Kudos: 31





	Loved You Before

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this story a long time ago, after watching this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJLJ9EbpwSs
> 
> I cried writing it. 
> 
> English is not my native language, so forgive mistakes and horrors in writing.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

**2018**

Stay with me. Alexander... -

**More than a century later.**

**Pov Magnus**

\- Magnus, you haven't been back to the institute since… - I lift a finger to interrupt Catarina's sentence, I don't want to hear and she understands it.

\- I know... Cat, I know... but the head of the institute asked me for an urgent consultation, there is a need for the High Warlock, I would have avoided otherwise. - I tell her, avoiding her gaze.

\- I understand... If you need me, send a message. I'm going to catch up with you wherever you are.- I thank her and she leaves, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

It's been over a century since I set foot in the institute. We fought a war. We won. I recovered my magic thanks to Simon's sacrifice, which traded it with his immortality. But nothing, since then, has been the same.

The institute hasn't changed much over the years... just a few changes here and there and the equipment getting more and more cutting-edge.

I make my way through the corridors to reach the head of the institute's office and my body acts without my total control, having never forgotten the way. I slowly buft and am greeted by Maryse Lovelace, the great-granddaughter of Isabelle and Simon, standing next to the head of the institute Luke Herondale, the great-grandson of Jace and Clary.

\- Welcome Mr Bane. - I barely hear his words, a wave of memories crosses me at the exact moment when I walk through that door.

Alexander.

\- Thank you Mr Herondale, I'd be in a bit of a hurry, so… - I see him nodding, maybe he knows my story, our history, too.

The meeting does not dwell and in a short time I’m outside that office, directed to the area of the institute where the portals can be created. My breathing is heavy and I can't wait to be out of this place, face the corner and something or rather someone ends up on me.

When my gaze falls on the person who struck me the shock immobilizes me.

\- I'm so sorry, Sir. - he's a child. He doesn't prove more than ten years. Dark hair and blue eyes. Hold a bow. His face is flushed. A familiar rune on the neck.

\- It's nothing.- I say, still unable to think rationally.

\- You’re the High Warlock… - he says almost in a whisper.

\- Yes, I’m Magnus... Who are you, young Shadowhunters? -

\- Alec. Alec Lightwood. - says confidently, though the blush on his cheeks betrays his shyness.

My blood freezes in my veins.

Alexander.

**Ten years later**

I squeeze my omamori, losing myself in the memories, while listening to the sound of rain. I'm distracted by a slight knock. I snort going to open and when I do, I have to hold on to the door so as not to fall.

\- Alexander...- I say breathlessly. The boy's expression in front of me frowns for a moment.

While images of another life contrast with those I'm living right now.

\- Magnus Bane?- He asks politely. I can nod and he clears his voice, perhaps confused by my reaction.

-I'm Alec Lightwood, the new head of the New York institute, and I was hoping I could talk to you.- I nod again, unable to speak, and I move by inviting him in.

Right now, Alexander is right here in front of me. It's him. Physically it's him. But how can that be possible?

In all my centuries of life, I've never seen such a thing happen. Of course, there were people who looked particularly similar to their ancestors, but this... that's too much. He's... simply identical to my Alexander. In all and everything.

I try to recover and make my way to the living room, offering him something to drink, he refuses in a polite tone.

\- I don't drink much. - He tells me, blushing a little. And I really struggle to hold back.

\- What brings you here, young Shadowhunter? - I ask him, pretending to be indifferent.

\- I wanted to invite you personally to council meetings. I know that your delegate is practically always present, but as the new head of the institute, I would like you to take part in these meetings. Since, as the High Warlock, you are the guide for your people. - as he speaks, the images that my mind recalls are not pleasant at all.

He and I argue in the corridors of the institute, that as head I had to think about my people. Me leaving, leaving him there with a broken heart.

I shake my head to drive away the thought.

He frowns, he seems more and more confused, but if only he knew.

\- All right, I'm going to be the one to come to the meetings from now on, if the head of the institute cares so much. - And without realizing it, I'm talking to him like I've always done with him.

I see him blushing and I smile at the thought. It's amazing.

\- Um, uh. All right, then. The first meeting is in two days, at 5:00. - He tells me, getting up. I shoot to my feet wanting to hold him back, but his expression makes me change my mind. On the other hand, I don't know this guy, as far as I know, he could have a girlfriend or a boyfriend.

He's not My Alexander.

\- See you soon, Mr Lightwood. - I just say, watching him hesitate at the door, with a confused expression.

\- See you soon, Mr Bane. -

When it goes away, the dam breaks, collapsing to the ground and the long-held tears ply my cheeks inexorably. One name on my lips.

Alexander.

**Two days later**

After two days spent in the most absolute despair, here I am, again walking through these corridors, going to the one who has all the air of being the love of my life, but who is actually a perfect stranger. I enter the hall and he is standing there to welcome the representatives of the hidden. I stop to look at him for a moment, and as if I had called him his gaze rises on me and he smiles at me. The world stops spinning for a moment. I move towards him with a different soul.

\- It's a pleasure to see you again Mr Lightwood. - I say, shaking his hand.

\- For me, too, Mr Bane. Thank you for taking the time to join us. - his tone is so mischievous that for a moment I forget where I am, in what century, what happened, and I'm ready to throw myself into his arms to trap him in an endless kiss.

I collect and notice our hands still joined. I leave my grip and with a stunted smile I head to the table.

Let my very personal torture begin.

I look at him, I observe his movements, I listen to his words and all this does not help me at all to clarify my ideas.

Many memories come out and strike me. Our kisses, his caresses, His way of comforting me. Our trip to Tokyo. I feel overwhelmed with emotion but I keep a demeanor until the end of the meeting, holding my omamori in my hands.

After three hours of agony, I rush home and call Catarina to tell her what's going on.

\- Magnus, are you sure what you're saying? Couldn't it be a game of your mind? - My friend asks me apprehensively.

\- Catarina, I'm not crazy! He's... It's him! That's my Alexander! I don't know how or why, but I feel like that. That's why he's a Lightwood. I.. Cat, I feel it in the depths of my heart... - I say letting myself fall on the couch.

\- Okay. Ok. We have to call Tessa, maybe she can tell us something we don't know.- she tells me practice.

An hour later, Tessa and Jem are in my living room, listening to everything I had to say and looking at me in a mixture of pity and confusion.

Then Jem seems to light up.

\- Years ago I read something in one of the Silent Brothers books. It was talking about soul mates. It was a kind of involuntary magic. You know, the Nephilim really only love once in their lives. And that pure and unconditional love is magical. It has rarely happened that a shadowhunter falls in love with a warlock, very few times. If the two souls are soulmates, when the mortal part of the couple dies violently, the magic acts mechanically, involuntarily and makes sure to preserve that soul, so that it can be reincarnated. I didn't know it was true, I didn't read about concrete cases, it was just theory at the time. But now, after Magnus's story, which I strongly believe in, I think it's all true. - He says, and in me, hope is rekindled.

\- But he didn't have his magic when Alec died! - Catarina says, making me gasp.

\- Besides, Alec doesn't have any recollection of Magnus, apparently. - concludes, looking at me in a sweet way, as if to apologise.

\- Yes, he didn't have his magic, but... OK, wait here, Tessa, take me to Silent City. - Jem suddenly gets up and Tessa does what he says. I remain alone with Catarina and neither of us speaks, lost in our thoughts.

Soon after they are both back, holding a large tome resting on the coffee table in front of us.

\- There you go. It is not a spell, but an as yet unknown magic, operated by destiny itself, when the soulmates are torn from each other by violence.

The reincarnated soul may look different from the one in the past, but it could plausibly be the same person.

If the two souls find themselves, they will somehow be able to recognize each other and be attracted to each other, but the reincarnated soul will not remember its half until the exact moment they first saw each other. - Jem keeps reading and what kind of hope that was in my heart, grows more and more.

Maybe…

\- So Alec, now that they've met, will he remember Magnus only on the anniversary of their first meeting? Can we put it like this? - Tessa says with a smile.

\- yes, I think we could put it that way. - Jem responds by looking at her lovingly but unconvinced.

\- You just have to remember when it happened! - Catarina approaches me and I see in her eyes a veil of tears.

\- I remember where he was, how he was. But I don't remember when. - I say heartbroken.

\- Magnus, it's been over a century, that's normal. You have to think positive though. We made an absolutely shocking discovery! - She shakes me and I smile at her.

I thank them all and ask them to leave me alone. I don't want to close myself in, but I need to think.

A few hours later, I'm on the balcony of my loft when I hear a knock on the door.

I would like to ignore anyone who has decided to disturb me, but the blows become more insistent and eventually decided to open.

Everything I could expect except what I see.

\- Alexander... what are you doing here at this hour? -

\- What did you do to me? - He asks agitatedly.

\- Excuse me? - I look really confused.

\- What did you do to me? Because since you left today, I've had visions of the two of us together, things that don't... that never happened. Fragments of scenes, moments I've never experienced. What the hell does that mean??- In the end, he practically screamed.

I remain petrified for a moment and then my gaze softens.

\- For more than a century, I've been hoping to see you again, at least once. - I say looking at him.

\- What does that mean? - he asks me defensively, reminding me of the Alec of the early days, the shy and reluctant to admit his feelings.

\- That means... in another life, many years ago, the two of us have already met. But I'm afraid I can't tell you anything else for now.- I see something changing in his eyes. He gets up from the couch running and makes to get out but then he stops and turns to me.

\- _I trust you. I don't know why, but it is._ \- he says, and my heart explodes. These are the same words he said the first time he slept here. Before running away in the early hours of the morning.

I smile at him.

He turns around and leaves the apartment.

Maybe there's really hope. Maybe…

**Pov Alec**

I run away from that apartment so hot and familiar. I run away from that man who attracts me in such an unknown way.

Ever since I met him, or rather since I saw him again after that one time ten years ago, all I've done is think about him. And all those images that fill my mind are so strange, so far away and so true.

I'm so confused.

_* Confusion is the first signal, that's how it turns out there's something underneath! *_

His voice fills my mind once more. And once again I don't understand what's happening to me. He said we've met in another life, but what does that mean?

I arrive at the institute and lock myself in my office. For now, I don't want to see or hear anyone.

My head is exploding and my body is trembled.

I have to get to the head of this situation.

**Two days later**

It seems that the strange visions or daydreams I had two days ago are over, because since I left Magnus' apartment it hasn't happened again.

I just finished a hunting trip with my brother, he and his girlfriend had become too sticky, so I decided to take a walk without them. I got lost in my thoughts, because now I find myself here, in front of his building and I'm not sure how I got there.

I knock on the door and it magically opens. I enter in the loft, with a little insecurity.

\- Magnus... Is there anyone? -

\- Alexander... I wasn't expecting you! -

\- I... Yes.. Sorry. Here... I was walking and found myself here without really knowing how I got there. But... I needed to see you.- I say, looking everywhere except towards him.

\- I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say or do. Part of me feels the need to escape... - I look out the window as I speak, my voice is almost inaudible.

\- What about the other one?- He asks as he approaches me.

\- The other one just wants to jump into your arms. - I say and I immediately feel my cheeks on fire.

He gasps, and I don't understand if it's because of what I said or why I turned around and now we're so terribly and extraordinarily close.

Maybe both.

\- Alexander... I wish I could tell you more than I've already done... but it wouldn't be fair. - He shakes his head and walks away from me. That for a moment I feel a chill cross me.

I see something fall out of his pocket and I bow to grab it.

\- What is this? - I ask. He turns to understand what I'm talking about but then with a shot rips it out of my hand. I look at him frowning for the abrupt gesture and because I can't understand.

\- A gift... a very precious gift for me. - whispers, looking at the object made of colored cloth.

_* - It should bring you luck and protection. - *_

I'm dizzy when I hear myself say those words.

And I really must have said them out loud because her head snaps at me and her eyes are filled with tears.

\- Yes.. - It's just a whisper.

\- Do you always carry it with you? I saw you fiddling that day at the meeting. - I ask, curious to know the history.

\- Yes, always. - he just says.

\- Why?-

\- Because you gave it to me.- Boom.

He said it so simple and confidently that I almost believe him. But this is simply not possible.

I shake my head and try to get away from him.

\- That's not... it's not possible.- I say taking my head in my hands.

\- Alexander I... I shouldn't have said that. So I only confuse your ideas and you don't need that. -

\- Please Magnus tell me what's happening to me.- I implore him, grabbing his back and looking him in the eye.

\- I can't… -

I should be angry, but I can't.

I look at his lips and then again his eyes and the next moment I'm kissing him.

It's a desperate, out-of-control kiss.

When we undwind, I slowly open my eyes again and what I see hits me in the chest.

His eyes.

The glamour is gone and his warlock mark is showing to me. His cat eyes look at me full of a feeling that could destroy me and bring me back to life at the same time.

When he realizes what's going on, he tries to break away from me, to hide. I lock him up at once and grasping his face gently staring back into his eyes.

_-_ _Magnus, they're beautiful. You're beautiful._ _-_ I say.

The tears he held back until then, flow like a flooded river.

And that's when a stabbing pain makes me bend in two.

I hold a hand to my heart that seems to want to squirt me out of my chest at any moment.

_" I'm in this same apartment, but it's all half destroyed._

_*- I'm Magnus, I don't think we're formally introduced! -_

_-Alec -*_

_Then the scene changes. I'm out of the institute, I'm scared, I look around and then someone touches my arm._

_* - Magnus... I love you! -_

_I love you too! - *_

_The vision changes. I'm in the ceremony room at the institute. It looks like a wedding. I'm dressed as a groom. Magnus is in front of the entrance and looks at me. I go towards him and kiss him passionately in front of everyone._

_I get thrown away in another scene. I'm at Magnus' house._

_* - I have heard that a relationship requires effort. -_

_I'm for the effort! - *_

_More scenes of everyday life. Kisses. Hugs. Smiles in love._

_And then I'm back here, in Magnus' apartment. I'm nervous, there's fire. Magnus is in the middle of the fire._

_* - I love you Alexander! -_

_I love you too! - *_

_And then there it is. The most terrible vision of all._

_I'm on the ground, in an alley, an arrow is stuck in my heart._

_I can't breathe well._

_\- ALEC! - Magnus screams. I sigh and smile._

_\- Mom said you'd make an entry to effect. -_

_\- She's a wise woman. -_

_I cough and feel my strength._

_\- Stay with me. -_

_\- I will love you forever Magnus Bane. -_

##  _\- Alexander… -”_

  
  


  
  


I return to reality.

-Alexander... what's going on with you? - Magnus asks me in apprehension.

I look at it and finally everything goes back to its place.

His love for me, my love for him. My death. My rebirth.

\- How long has it been? - I ask him. His expression gets confused. I smile.

\- How long has it been since my death, Mags? - I rephrase the question and he opens his eyes wide from the surprise.

\- 121 years. - sighs and looks at me, as if to probe my expression.

\- I remember everything. - I tell him, before I hold him in a hug. he is initially stiff but then he lets go and squeezes me in turn, tearing my shoulder and repeating my name as a litany.

\- The moment you first met... I knew he wasn't referring to our first meeting. - says, looking me in the eye, his mark still in sight. I look at him confused and he smiles movingly.

\- I can't lose you anymore Alexander. -

\- As long as you're here... I'm not going anywhere! -


End file.
